Sunday, December 28, 2008

Obama as "Anti-Christ"? Why Not Carlos Slim Helu?

It amuses me and horrifies me simultaneously that some evangelicals are calling Barack Obama "the Anti-Christ." One supposes that videographic glimpses of Obama in Berlin or Obama with Rev. Wright might be intercut with shots of the Nazis and the death camps, a la goofy Ben ("Buehler? Buehler?") Stein's asinine documentary, Expelled. That, along with snippets of this or that literalist misreadings of hopelessly mistranslated letter-number code language from the 2nd century, c.e.: John of Patmos' The Beast 666 was the current Roman emperor -- duh!

Only Obama's barber knows for sure: one supposes this person, called to the White House biweekly to adminster a "do," would naturally notice a tiny birthmark with "666" embedded on the new president's skull. Does this make Michelle the Scarlet Woman? I suppose, Crowley-like, they might make tantric sex-magick in the presidential mansion, but I have a hunch they'll do nothing more irreligious than watching pro-basketball on the sabbath. If Obama is the "A-C," when can we expect the Apocalypse? McCain's spiritual advisors until he threw them under the bus claimed that the time must be near for the Rapture, as the establishment of an Israeli state in Pallestine was fulfillment of prophecy (huh? of being wary of Nero Caesar?), and Hitler was a gift of Yahweh-Jehovah in disguise. ("God" must really move in strange ways.)

I really think these guys have been watching too many Gregory Peck movies. The next thing we know, a guy named Damian will be taking over on Wall Street and taking control of all the multinationals and becoming so filthy rich he virtually owns the world. Wait a minute! We already have such a guy. He lives in Mexico and his name is Carlos Slim Helu. That's gotta be it: Carlos Slim is the Anti-Christ.

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